STRAWBERRY PRETZEL SALAD

INGREDIENTS
2 cups crushed pretzels
3/4 cup butter, melted (she said she used a cup though - butta)
3 tablespoons white sugar
1 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup white sugar
1 (8 ounce) cartons frozen whipped topping, thawed
2 (3 ounce) packages strawberry gelatin
2 cups boiling water
2 (10 ounce) packages frozen strawberries

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 400°F.
Stir together crushed pretzels, melted butter and 3 tablespoons white sugar; mix well and press mixture into bottom of 9x13-inch baking dish.
Bake 8-10 minutes, until set; set aside to cool. (DO NOT LET OVERBAKE!)
In a large mixing bowl cream together cream cheese and 1 cup white sugar.
Fold in whipped topping.
Spread mixture onto cooled crust.
Dissolve gelatin in boiling water.
Stir in frozen strawberries and allow to set briefly.
When mixture sets a little bit (to about the consistency of egg whites) pour and spread over cream cheese layer.
Refrigerate until set.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Éclair Cake

https://www.facebook.com/cookingwithkellyprice

1 box chocolate graham crackers (there will be a few graham crackers left over)
2 (3 ¼ -ounce) boxes vanilla instant pudding
1 cup peanut butter
3 ½ cups milk
1 (8 oz) container Cool Whip
1 can chocolate frosting

Spray bottom of 9 x13 pan with cooking spray. Line the bottom of the pan with whole graham crackers. In a bowl using an electric mixer, mix pudding with milk, peanut butter; beat at medium speed for 2 minutes. Fold in whipped topping. Pour half the pudding mixture over graham crackers. Place another layer of whole graham crackers on top of pudding layer. Pour over remaining half of pudding mixture and cover with another layer of graham crackers. Heat the container of prepared frosting, uncovered for 1 minute. Pour over top of cake. Refrigerate for at least 12 hours before serving!

 

Motivation

        Just over a month ago,  I started doing daily vlogs again. I have attempted to do daily vlogs on several occasions but the longest I've gone was three months straight. I have found it difficult in the past because after a few days, everything seems to become repetitive, and sometimes it really is but that's the beauty of daily vlogs is that you can see the up and downs and the slow days of a person's life. August was VEDA, Vlog every day in August. Which was just straight up vlogs, and I had started making some changes and doing some stuff. September, Shay carl started doing "staytember," where he is basically challenging his viewers to make some sort of change in their life and set 3 goals from the month of semptember. Granted I have a few goals but they are all manageable and following shay's challenge has given me motivation to do daily vlogs for another month.

        I do have to admit that there are some day's where I don't want to bother vlogging or I'm not in the mood but I made a goal of vlogging every day for the next year, I can't quit 36 days in! I have been wanting to do daily vlogs every day for a year for a few years and I just haven't done it yet. My main concern with it is when my camera decides to die. I'm going to have to get an inexpensive backup camera I think. Either that, or when I get the money, I'll just buy the same camera off of ebay.

        Doing daily vlogs has motivated me to really stick to what I say in terms of my goals. I really want to try and achieve loosing weight and a few other things. I have also started a collab channel with some of my friends, which I am really excited about. It is called The Bucket list 4. We just launched it this week and I'm stoked. The bucket list is also going to be an awesome motivation thing for me as well.

Imagine other's complexly

Watching youtubers online and meeting some of your closets friends via the internet can be an amazing thing but imagining them more than a 2nd moving picture, or words on a screen can prove to be difficult. As John Green said in his book Paper towns, “Imagine others complexly.” Which was difficult for me to do, until I got to meet several of my friends at Vidcon this year. As well as I felt I knew some of them, it was hard to imagine them complexly, until I could physically touch them, hug them, talk to them face to face and interact with them more deeply.


As huge and as vast as the online world is and as much drama as it can cause, it can bring a community of people together, introduce people from entirely different countries but for me, I have found it more profound to meet these people face to face and it has helped me Imagine other's complexly.


Who is there to thank? There are so many people that led me and my youtube family together, that I can't thank just one person. 

what a whirlwind

http://www.etsy.com/shop/LumosHallows

Things have been crazy the last couple of weeks. Especially financially. My mom and I are having to find another place to live because apparently where we are living now, does not allow pets. So we are scrambling to get another place to move too and somehow trying to find a way to get some extra money to pay for that. We have been staying in a family member's condo, rent free for around 3 or 4 months now. Haven't had to pay the water or light bill, which has been a true blessing but as life happens, the blessing is passing. Albeit, it would be allot easier if I was able to find a job and the situation wouldn't be so difficult.

Another thing that I am stoked for (but at the same time I wish wasn't for another month), is Vidcon. For those that don't know what vidcon is, Vidcon is a youtube oriented conference out in Aneheim, California. I went last year and I had loads of fun and met so many amazing people as well as getting to meet a few of my online friends face to face for the first time. It's going to be difficult though because the money I had saved up for the trip, I have had to put it towards another apartment and I am coming up short money wise. I am sharing a room with 3 other people, but not sure how I'm going to cover my part and my food expenses as well as getting to and from the airport. So, that is another thing I am stressed about. I don't exactly want to forget about going to vidcon, since I already bought my pass and I bought my plane ticket. I don't want to throw that money away. I just need to find out how to get the rest of the money.

I am trying to find some odd jobs this week and hopefully sell a few diaper cakes before Wednesday, June 27th. So, if you are reading this and you are going to a baby shower, please check out my etsy page and buy an epic gift for the mom to be! *hint hint* Or at least share my etsy store with your friends and family. I would greatly appreciate it! I am not the type to ask for handouts. I would rather earn the money that I need. I do custom diaper cakes as well. So don't fret if I don't have something you like.

I am praying that everything works out and try to celebrate my birthday this coming Saturday as best as I can. I just can't believe I'm turning 23 this Saturday! It's just crazy.

Out here on my own

I am so glad for the good friends that I have but I somehow always feel like I don't fit in entirely. I don't know why this is but I just feel like I never really have anything to say and I have a hard time relating to people. I feel even more awkward trying to have a conversation with a group of people because it always seems like everyone is talking over everybody else and what I have to say never seems to be relevant to the conversation and then I hate it when some one points out and is like "you haven't been saying anything, what do you think?" and I never know what to say or I think the topic is stupid or I don't really have any knowledge base about the topic and usually by that point I don't have anything to say because what I thought about previously has nothing to do with the current topic. That or I am just not really paying attention and thinking about other things.


Other than looking for a job, I have been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. If you don't know already, I'm going to be taking a couple more classes in the spring and then I'm going to take a couple years off from college, I'm not even 100% sure I'm even going to go back to college. Possibly one of the technical schools but yeah. School really isn't my thing. I am not an academic at all. I want to travel. I want to meet some of my friends that I've been talking to online. I just want to experience different places. I just want to live life as it comes to me. I don't really have a plan. I don't necessarily want a plan. I just want to be happy.

is there something wrong with me?

This Christmas season has honestly been difficult. I haven't really been wanting to get into the Christmas spirit. I didn't even do the Messiah performances yesterday because I just couldn't do it. Which is not like me at all. I also haven't hung out with anybody since my dad's memorial until Friday night when I went to the deaf chat with some of my friends from my ASL class. I've just been such a recluse as of late. Correction, I've always been kind of anti social but I've just haven't wanted to do as much lately since my father's death. Which I know in the long run isn't the best thing in the world. And I feel like I just don't have anybody to hang out with, every time I text someone and I'm like "hey, what are you doing this weekend?" and as always they just respond back "Nothing," and I'm always like "....you want to do something?" and as usual "I don't know, I might be doing something else." So frustrating. Am I really just that horrible at being social and trying to get people to hang out or is there something wrong with me?

What?! Already!? O.o

My guinea Pig, Herman.

I can't believe the Holiday's are here already. I have been so caught up with school, my dad's passing and just trying to deal with life in general. It's just amazing that Thanksgiving is next week. It kind of hit me yesterday how strange it is not to have dad around.

Speaking of thanksgiving, I think we might be going over to my grandmother and aunt's house this year. Which will be a first in a while. I'm so used to having at home and maybe having someone over and mom and I making dinner and dad and I watching the parade in the morning. The parade is seriously the best part. It's going to be so weird without dad. I need to start sending out Christmas Cards too. I need to get a couple of assignments done this week first though. I have honestly been glad that I haven't had a ton of homework to do this semester.

What do you want to do when you graduate college?

Tonight as I've been thinking back on people asking me "So, what do you want to do after you graduate college?" and I never know how to answer. I'm just going to have my associate degree. I don't have a major. The only thing that I can see myself doing and that I actually enjoy is theatre. Will I ever make a living from doing theatre? I kind of doubt it unless I join the technical theatre union here in Sarasota, which I have been seriously considering. There are other things that I am interested in of course but "what I want to do with my life," I'm not sure other than wanting to do theatre.

To me it just seems like such a silly question in a way but I feel like an idiot because I don't know how to answer the question. And when I think of how others might answer the question, I imagine someone saying, "Well, I'm going to apply for a few internships, and work my way towards being hired with this company and work my way up the ladder and become the CEO and get married and have 10 kids and retired by the time I'm 36 and live in a mansion and help the children in africa and.....!" I just can't see myself planning out "what I want to do" like that. I mean if I do end up in a position of leadership in whatever I do, then I'll be very happy with what I would have achieved as long as I'm able to pay my bills and keep a roof over my head and I am happy with where I am at and I can help people when and however I can.

I just want to see where life takes me.

What am I doing wrong?

I think I must be doing something wrong because I have honestly lost count of how many applications I've put in over the last few years and I have yet to get one interview. Am I not filling out the applications right? Am I not making the right impression when I pick up an application and turn it in? When I do the application process in person, I always try to look nice, act professionally and make positive conversation, maybe throw in a joke or two. I admit, my social skills aren't the best, but I always try.

I have filled out mock applications with friends and family and they say I'm doing everything correctly and that my resume is fine, considering my lack of work experience. I know the economy isn't the best right now but how does that constitute not even getting one interview since I turned 18? It's honestly frustrating. I am grateful that I am able to live with my mom because otherwise I would be living on the streets. I acknowledge how blessed I am but I have to wonder if I'll ever be able to stand up on my own two feet. I'm not saying that I want to be a millionaire (but I wouldn't complain), I just want to be able to have the possibility of knowing that I would be able to live on my own, pay the bills, pay the rent, just the stuff that needs to get paid.It's just really frustraiting.

In other news, I thinking of doing daily vlogs again if I can get another camera. Unfortunately the one I was using went missing. Not sure what happened to it. I think it was stolen at this point but I'm hoping I will be able to buy a  new one. There is a DSLR and a point and shoot that I want but I'm just hoping for the Point and shoot right now. We shall see what happens.