Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Reggie

They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie, as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I
attempted to settle in to my new life h
ere, and I thought a dog couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn't look like "Lab people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes and a sealed letter from his previous owner.

See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too.
Maybe we were too much alike.

I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that. "Okay, Reggie," I said out loud, "let's see if your previous owner has any advice."
____________ _________ _________ _________

To Whomever Gets My Dog:

Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie's new owner. I'm not even happy writing it. He knew something was different.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls. The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part squirrel, the way he hoards them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't
matter where you throw them, he'll bound after them, so be careful. Don't do it by any roads.

Next, commands. Reggie knows the obvious ones ---"sit," "stay," "come," "heel."

He knows hand signals, too: He knows "ball" and "food" and "bone" and "treat" like nobody's business.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He's up on his shots. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car. I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. It's only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He's gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.

And that's why I need to share one more bit of info with you...His name's not Reggie. He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. But I just couldn't bear to give them his real name. But if someone is reading this ... well it means that his new owner should know his real name. His real name is "Tank." Because, that is what I drive.

I told the shelter that they couldn't make "Reggie" available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. You see, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've left Tank with .. and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call to the shelter ... in the "event" ... to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my CO is a dog-guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he'd do it personally. And if you're reading this, then he made good on his word.

Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family. And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family, too, and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he
loved me.

If I have to give up Tank to keep those terrible people from coming to the US I am glad to have done so. He is my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that's enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you,

Paul Mallory
____________ _________ _________ _______

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure, I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver
Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.

The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

"C'mere boy."

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months. "Tank," I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my
face into his scruff and hugged him.

"It's me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and licked my cheek.

"So whatdaya say we play some ball?" His ears perked again.

"Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?"


Tank tore from my hands and disappeared into the next room. And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Motivation

        Just over a month ago,  I started doing daily vlogs again. I have attempted to do daily vlogs on several occasions but the longest I've gone was three months straight. I have found it difficult in the past because after a few days, everything seems to become repetitive, and sometimes it really is but that's the beauty of daily vlogs is that you can see the up and downs and the slow days of a person's life. August was VEDA, Vlog every day in August. Which was just straight up vlogs, and I had started making some changes and doing some stuff. September, Shay carl started doing "staytember," where he is basically challenging his viewers to make some sort of change in their life and set 3 goals from the month of semptember. Granted I have a few goals but they are all manageable and following shay's challenge has given me motivation to do daily vlogs for another month.

        I do have to admit that there are some day's where I don't want to bother vlogging or I'm not in the mood but I made a goal of vlogging every day for the next year, I can't quit 36 days in! I have been wanting to do daily vlogs every day for a year for a few years and I just haven't done it yet. My main concern with it is when my camera decides to die. I'm going to have to get an inexpensive backup camera I think. Either that, or when I get the money, I'll just buy the same camera off of ebay.

        Doing daily vlogs has motivated me to really stick to what I say in terms of my goals. I really want to try and achieve loosing weight and a few other things. I have also started a collab channel with some of my friends, which I am really excited about. It is called The Bucket list 4. We just launched it this week and I'm stoked. The bucket list is also going to be an awesome motivation thing for me as well.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Happy 30th birthday, Ryan Buell!


I have been a fan of Ryan Buell and his team since Paranormal State premeired on A&E in December of 2007. Being 17, almost 18 at the time, I was the typical fan girl, drooling over how attactive he was but as I've gotten older and have a better understanding of the paranormal world and have started to form my own opinions and belief's, I have a respect for what Ryan does. The fact that he actually helps his clients as well as the spirits. He doesn't taunt and harass the spirits like they do on Ghost Adventures just to get the views and be in the center of attention.


A few months prior to Paranormal State airing, my cousin, Shirly, learned that she had pancreatic cancer but unfortunantly passed away in 2010. Shirly was like a 2nd mother to me and if anything happened to my parents, her and her husband, Mike, would have taken me in within a heartbeat. So, when she passed away, it was difficult.

When I learned Ryan pancreatic cancer, it came as some what of a shock to me. I don't claim to know Ryan at all but I understand the struggle that he himself, his friends and family may be going through and my heart goes out. I have always sensed that Ryan has a strong will to live and help others and I will continue to pray for him and his loved ones during this time.

When it comes to what I think and believe about the paranormal and my own spirituality, what I know of Ryan's work, has infuenced who I am today and I thank him for that and I hope that he comes through this stronger than ever. So today, in honor of my cousin and ryan, I'm wearing purple. Granted it's a pair of purple PJ pants but it's all I have in my closet! Happy 30th birthday, Ryan!

Imagine other's complexly

Watching youtubers online and meeting some of your closets friends via the internet can be an amazing thing but imagining them more than a 2nd moving picture, or words on a screen can prove to be difficult. As John Green said in his book Paper towns, “Imagine others complexly.” Which was difficult for me to do, until I got to meet several of my friends at Vidcon this year. As well as I felt I knew some of them, it was hard to imagine them complexly, until I could physically touch them, hug them, talk to them face to face and interact with them more deeply.


As huge and as vast as the online world is and as much drama as it can cause, it can bring a community of people together, introduce people from entirely different countries but for me, I have found it more profound to meet these people face to face and it has helped me Imagine other's complexly.


Who is there to thank? There are so many people that led me and my youtube family together, that I can't thank just one person. 

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Vidcon 2012


photo edit by screennamemissing


I just got back from Tampa airport from Vidcon 2012 and I have to say that it was an absolutely incredible experience. I know I won't be able to express in words how much it meant to me to meet some of my #teamregulars and hanging out with Tony and Sebby, as well as meeting so many amazing youtubers. I cannot describe the love, friendship and community I experienced the last few days, even more so than last year.

When I left tampa airport, I was incredibly anxious about getting there and it didn't help that I spent a majority of the day in Chicago because my connecting flight was canceled and I was given another flight for the following day, which wasn't going to work. I managed to get another flight for that day and get to John Wayne airport. Granted it was considerably later than I had originally planned, but I got there.

Vanessa, Lauren and Rachel came and picked me up from the airport, which was amazing. Then when I checked in and went to see everyone in the other room we had, they all surprised me with birthday cupcakes. <3 It honestly made my day so much better, and I have to thank them all for that. It was such a simple thing but gave me so much joy!

After I had dropped my stuff off in my room, we all headed over to the vidcon pre-party and hung out for a while. Later in the evening, Tony and Seb showed up. Tony was so funny, he was epic fan girling that we were all together in person for the first time. It was so amazing. I wish I had gotten it on camera. Once we were all kinda done at the previdcon party, we all went to denny's and this happened. Watch the video!



Disney Land was allot of fun as well. I initially wasn't too thrilled about going and thought about not going because my thought process was "I've been to Disney World, how different can it be?" I have to admit, it was far different. Sure it was just as exhausting as any other park but it was so much fun! That's to Tito, who gave us some passes and just being a great friend.
For me, I think the most significant part of the trip was the night we did the live stream on youtube. I think they were calling it "talking to the dead." Tony had brought in a medium.  Granted, I think this medium was simply just empathic and was just pretty good at reading people's body language. I don't think she was necessarily a full blown medium. Anyway, that night had really got me thinking and I looked back on some stuff that I had written and thinking about my future but that's another blog post altogether. Several inside jokes came out of that night as well. ^_^ The medium gave me her e-mail address, so hopefully she'll get back to me soon because I would like to talk to her more.

I am so glad that my team regulars, tony and seb along with some of the Black Box TV behind the scene's peeps were able to get together VidCon and get to know eachother better and hang out! The experience was above and beyond what I expected it to be. I think our friendship went to a whole other level, now that we know we're all actually real! I still can't really describe the experience at all and it's something that I'm going to remember for the rest of my life. It's also helped me with some huge life decisions I am going to be making here soon as well.

I will be posting pictures and videos up on my facebook and on youtube here in a few days. Just follow me on twitter and on my vlog channel and "main" channel as well as my facebook. :-) Next year, I'm going to try and post daily blogs for sure. Hopefully I'll have a laptop by then!


Thursday, June 21, 2012

what a whirlwind

http://www.etsy.com/shop/LumosHallows
Things have been crazy the last couple of weeks. Especially financially. My mom and I are having to find another place to live because apparently where we are living now, does not allow pets. So we are scrambling to get another place to move too and somehow trying to find a way to get some extra money to pay for that. We have been staying in a family member's condo, rent free for around 3 or 4 months now. Haven't had to pay the water or light bill, which has been a true blessing but as life happens, the blessing is passing. Albeit, it would be allot easier if I was able to find a job and the situation wouldn't be so difficult.

Another thing that I am stoked for (but at the same time I wish wasn't for another month), is Vidcon. For those that don't know what vidcon is, Vidcon is a youtube oriented conference out in Aneheim, California. I went last year and I had loads of fun and met so many amazing people as well as getting to meet a few of my online friends face to face for the first time. It's going to be difficult though because the money I had saved up for the trip, I have had to put it towards another apartment and I am coming up short money wise. I am sharing a room with 3 other people, but not sure how I'm going to cover my part and my food expenses as well as getting to and from the airport. So, that is another thing I am stressed about. I don't exactly want to forget about going to vidcon, since I already bought my pass and I bought my plane ticket. I don't want to throw that money away. I just need to find out how to get the rest of the money.

I am trying to find some odd jobs this week and hopefully sell a few diaper cakes before Wednesday, June 27th. So, if you are reading this and you are going to a baby shower, please check out my etsy page and buy an epic gift for the mom to be! *hint hint* Or at least share my etsy store with your friends and family. I would greatly appreciate it! I am not the type to ask for handouts. I would rather earn the money that I need. I do custom diaper cakes as well. So don't fret if I don't have something you like.

I am praying that everything works out and try to celebrate my birthday this coming Saturday as best as I can. I just can't believe I'm turning 23 this Saturday! It's just crazy.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

A Sweet lesson on patience


A sweet lesson on patience.

A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive
through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired.Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut.It was the sound of the closing of a life..

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.