My decision

Many of my friends And acquaintances may think I am crazy But I am considering converting to catholicism. This isn't something that is out of the blue, I have been thinking and praying about this for some time. Contacted 1 of the local catholic churches and I will be talking to 1 of the deacons of the church and will be going through RICA. I have several catholic friends in some of my family is catholic But this is not played any part in my decision Because most of them do not live anywhere close to where I live and don't interact with them all that often. So there is nobody but myself and God that has gotten me to this point. This is my decision. Going through RICA will teach me about the catholic faith but if I don't feel like this is the right direction, I can drop off at anytime.

So I ask you to support me through this process and respect my decision. I will be documenting my experience is much is possible because I have not seen any other blogs because I have not seen any other blogs about and converting to catholicism or what the experience was like. I want to provide something helpful and useful to anybody else that is considering converting to catholicism.

I am not going to sit here and say that my experience has been or will be like anybody elses experience because everyones spiritual journey is different. I just want to let me know what I experience and that there is someone out there going through the same process.

I haven't told anybody but my mother that I am considering this until now, simply because it has been such a personal decision.  Now that I am laying my decision out on the table for the public to know, I am a bit afraid as to what others might think.

My reason for wanting to convert is because I want to become closer to God and I want to grow stronger in my faith and this is the way I am being led to do so.

Operation beautiful

I remember the first time I came across a note that was associated with operation beautiful. I remember I was having a really bad day that day and was absolutely frustrated with the math class I was taking at the time and I was going through allot of personal issues as well. When I happened to stumble upon the note while washing my hands before heading to class, it really made my day and I took the note with me. I looked at the note sometimes and it always made me smile. I eventually taped the note to a bathroom mirror a couple months later. Although for about a year, I somewhat forgot about the whole project up until recently when I came across the website again in my bookmarks this past August 2011. Then one weekend I sat down and made up about 60 cards and started spreading them around at different public bathrooms. I also went through vista print and got 250 business card sized cards made up so I can put them in Christmas cards, birthday cards, restaurant bills and wherever else. So I have been participating in Operation Beautiful for about 6 months now on a regular basis.

I just want to encourage other people to participate in this project. You don't have to do anything crazy, you can even carry around a post-it note booklet and a pen and just write "You are beautiful" on a note and stick it in the bathroom on the mirror, or stick it in the bill when you are leaving the restaurant or on someone's car window or make a video on youtube about it and share it with your friends and family and encourage them to share it.

It really is an amazing project that is so simple yet so powerful and it has changed my life.

Thinking things out...

I think tonight has really been the first night that I've started to get serious about my youtube channels and trying to find work. I'm hoping that I can start applying for around 10 jobs a day and start rolling in the interviews and actually get something soon and with school starting Monday. That may hinder that slightly but I am only taking 2 classes at twice a week. So that isn't too bad. I'm just getting somewhat frustrated with the job search because I haven't gotten even an interview yet and I need the work.


Now with my youtube channels, my main channel at least, I'm working on some videos to start posting but I'm trying to decide what my upload schedule should be. I'm thinking Friday mornings. I already do daily vlogs on my vlog channel. I just want some sort of schedule on my other channel so people can expect a video every week and come back. I don't really do it for the views or the money at all, I just want to put useful video and videos that will make people think, inspirational videos and reviews and stuff. And the only way people are going to see that is if I get more views I guess. *lol*

My happy place

Anybody who really knows me how much live theatre means too me and how deeply it runs in my heart. Weather I am onstage, backstage or watching a production, the people that are within that room are sharing that experience and nobody else. Every performance is different and every show is impactful in different ways. And every time I listen to a song or a soundtrack from a show I've done or seen, I can't help but be brought back to that particular night or run and I become enthralled in that night again and how personal live theatre really is. I just am allowed for those couple of hours to forget everything else in my life, and just live in the moment. True therapy.

Unfortunantly, there are people that really can't appriciate the art form and don't care too. Which deeply saddens me because it is such a unique experience. With any well done performance, you will be taken on the emotional roller coaster that the characters are going on whether it be funny, sad, angry or melancholy.

As of late, I haven't been in a show for a while, so I tend to allow myself to go back in my mind and become enveloped with past performing experiences and for a brief moment, I can have that high again and escape from the world. I really need to start going to auditions again because I really need to be onstage again and have something to really focus on outside of everything that has been going on. I may not be the best performer on the face of the planet but it's my "happy place" I guess you can call it. becoming someone else.

Sunrise

Today was nice. My mom and I went for a walk around 7am this morning and watched the sunrise, which was beautiful. Then we went to The Waffle Shop, Inc. for breakfast Which apparently Elvis ate there once. Which is pretty epic. It was really enjoyable to just sit and chat with mom for a while.

Then once we got home, I layer down for a while because I didn't sleep more than a couple hours last night. Them mom and I went to a family christmas party, which was very lovely.

Out here on my own

I am so glad for the good friends that I have but I somehow always feel like I don't fit in entirely. I don't know why this is but I just feel like I never really have anything to say and I have a hard time relating to people. I feel even more awkward trying to have a conversation with a group of people because it always seems like everyone is talking over everybody else and what I have to say never seems to be relevant to the conversation and then I hate it when some one points out and is like "you haven't been saying anything, what do you think?" and I never know what to say or I think the topic is stupid or I don't really have any knowledge base about the topic and usually by that point I don't have anything to say because what I thought about previously has nothing to do with the current topic. That or I am just not really paying attention and thinking about other things.


Other than looking for a job, I have been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. If you don't know already, I'm going to be taking a couple more classes in the spring and then I'm going to take a couple years off from college, I'm not even 100% sure I'm even going to go back to college. Possibly one of the technical schools but yeah. School really isn't my thing. I am not an academic at all. I want to travel. I want to meet some of my friends that I've been talking to online. I just want to experience different places. I just want to live life as it comes to me. I don't really have a plan. I don't necessarily want a plan. I just want to be happy.

Simmering Potpourri

I'm actually not as down as I thought I would be at this point in time, other than the usual stress about money and trying to find a job, I'm pretty happy. I threw together some simmering potpourri tonight and the house smells amazing right now. Also got my Secret Santa present today from one of my Team Regular friends. I can't wait to open it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've also gotten 4 postcards so far from postcrossing.com. So far, I've gotten one from Brazil, Vermont (USA), Rome and Salzaburg.