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I am a new vegan and just starting to write a blog about my journey thus far. http://griffinwolf2008.blogspot.com/

Monday, January 31, 2011

Alone in the universe...

Something like this I normally would post on facebook or livejournal and set it to where only my friends can see it but for some reason I felt the need to do it on here. The Sarasota Players theatre recently announced the productions that they are going to be doing for their 82nd season. One of them is "Seussical," Which is a show I have been wanting to do since 2004. I would love to play Gertrude McFuzz but regardless of who I get cast as, I want to be in the show regardless. I'm not one who usually get's attached to a show and "dreams" of being in the show but this is really the only one.

When the player's announced it, it honestly inspired me start taking voice and acting lessons again. Although I have a feeling I'll really only be doing that once a month, maybe every other week if I can manage. Over the last few years, I've forgotten how much I love being onstage. Especially with some of the things that happened over the past year.

I'll be honest, I don't know if I will ever be able to make acting and singing a full time career but it's something I always want to do. I want to be able to show off the talent that I have somewhere inside of me. Sure, I have let my singing, dancing and acting go down the drain but with some work I can be better than I ever have been.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Haterz gunna hate!

Over the last couple of years, I have learned and come to accept the fact that some people hate me for no legitimate reason, if any reason at that. Some people it is just sheer immaturity and ignorance. Some, have a (somewhat) legitimate reason, but still not completely legitimate since a majority of these people refuse to see the truth of the situation. I have said pretty negative things about some people, but only out of personal experience and I am being completely honest when I tell people what I think about someone and/or the experiences I've had with them, weather good or bad. I have had people tell me I am a liar and simply seeking to be in the center of attention. I think to a point this may be true with everyone. I don't intentionally try and put myself in the center of attention. I don't make youtube video's to be in the center of attention.

I make youtube video's, partly to document some of my life so I can look back on the video's in the future and remember the shows I've done, to be able to remember the day when my cousin's son walked for the first time, to remember the experiences I've had and the memories I've created. I also talk about my weight loss struggles, my opinions on religious and political issues. Do reviews on movies, books, products, websites and maybe talk about a new recipe I discovered. I also hope to maybe influence someone's life. None of it is to benefit me. I don't make money doing it.

Back to what I originally started talking about, learning to not let what other people think of me get me down isn't easy. I still find it difficult to just let it go and forgive these people. I still manage to keep tabs on some of these people and sometimes I see something they post about me and most of the time it's hurtful but I know better then to talk to these people about what they say because I know it isn't going to do any good.

When I just sit and think about all of this, I think about a couple of things.

On youtube, there are always going to be haters and they are going to hate no matter what. These people are just on youtube to leave negative comments and put others down because they have nothing better to do. The real youtube community does not let the haters get them down because we all know that they are trying to put their insecurities and frustrations out on people who make videos. All you can do is ignore them and not feed the fire because haters gonna hate.

I also think about a conversation a friend of mine and I had back in November or so. I was discussing with him some of the drama that was (and to an extent still is) going on. I was trying to put everything behind me but the show I was doing at the time made it difficult since a couple of the people who were causing the drama were in the cast. With the glares and the comments I heard behind my back, I just couldn't take it anymore and had to talk to him about it. He told me something that his mother used to say, "Don't let the bastards get you down."

Whenever something starts to bug me, I think about these things and I know that no matter what, these people are going to say things about me behind my back and make fun of me. There is nothing I can do to stop them because this is a free country, and I think to myself "Don't let those bastards get you down." I may go shed a few tears but with a few deep breaths and clearing my mind. I keep going forward.

How is any of the current drama going to effect both my future both professionally and personally? I don't know. I can only deal with things as they come. I am expecting the worst and hoping for the best.