Nirvana

Night before last, I was dreaming about Nirvana. Not the band but as in Buddhism. Why this was, I don't know. I had just woken up and the word "Nirvana" kept going through my mind and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

For those who don't know, Nirvana is a central concept in many pagan religions such as Buddhism, Jainism and Hinduism. The English translation of Nirvana is "extinguishing." According to Wikipedia "In sramanic thought, it is the state of being free from suffering (or dukkha). In Hindu philosophy, it is the union with the Supreme being through moksha. The word literally means "blowing out" — referring, in the Hindu context, to the supreme state free of suffering and individual existence, and in the Buddhist context, to the blowing out of the fires of greed, hatred, and delusion." The meaning I stated just now is what I have come to understand from my research over time.

Again, I really don't know why I haven't been able to get my mind off of this concept. Maybe the Gods are trying to tell me something. I have been trying to figure out what that something is. Maybe whoever reads this will say that it's right in front of my face and I'm just missing it.

While we're on the topic, Lithium by Nirvana anyone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkcJEvMcnEg

Christian: Chick-Fil-A is a blessing!!! Athiest: Wtf?

As my good friend Gino Norman puts it, "I don't have a problem with God, it's his fan club." I have to agree with him 120%. I have personally never really had an issue with religion. I was at one point very involved in the last church I attended and was very into Christianity and what I belived. I was one of the over zelous types that most people dislike so much. Since then I have mellowed down and I am more open to other religions. I have also come to the point where I practice both Christianity and Paganism.

As I stated before, most people have some level of loathing for the over zelous types, myself inculded. I don't feel the need to flaunt my faith and talk about it on a constant basis, which is what several people I know do. It's great to see people who are devoted to their belifes, wheather you are Christian, Pagan, Muslim or Jewish. I don't really care. Just as long as you don't shove it in my face. I don't mind having civil debates and discussions about it but please don't try to convince me to convert to what you believe. If I have an interest in the religion, I will do my own personal research.

I also find it bothersome when I am trying to have a regular conversation with some of my Christian friends and I'll say something to the affect of "I love Chick-fil-a." Which will somehow trigger a comment from my Christian friend saying something to the effect of "I agree. God has truly blessed us with that company. They do so much good work." Which isn't where I was coming from at all, I love the food cause I was starving half to death. Not because God decided to just plop a fast food place that just serves chicken, salad and ice cream.

Unovservant people, Halloween and auditions

Something that I find very frustrating is how unobservant most people are. Now, I don't claim to be the most observant nor the most intelligent person ever, but I try.

I could go on and on about that but anyway.

I'm already getting ready for Halloween. I <3 Halloween. It's my favorite holiday. I'm going to be Mrs. Lovett. Mom and I are going to do a little shopping tomorrow for my costume.

My last little random thought is that there are some auditions coming up. After not going to auditions for a couple years, finding the motivation to actually go seems to be the most difficult part for me. I don't know why, but I haven't gone to a few auditions simply because I didn't have the motivation to go. I feel like such an ass and totally lazy because of that. I desperately want to do a show but why am I having such a difficult time finding the initiative to actually go?

There comes a time

There comes a time in life,
when you realize that you need to move on.
When you realize that the past is never coming back.

There comes a time in life,
when you start planning for the next chapter in life,
when you just know you are making the right choice.

It may be difficult for the momentum to start,
but once everything is in place,
There's no stopping.

I need you

I need you,
the one I love,
the future we have
I need you,
to love me now,
hold me forever...
I need you,
to tell me it's ok,
to never leave me.
To hold me tight.
To be the man.
to be the one.
to be mine.
forever.
love